Homeschooling (with) Young Children

I think it is unfortunate that many first-time homeschool families are starting with their oldest child as a kindergartener while still wrangling one or more younger siblings.  It is a triple whammy – first year for parent in teacher role, first year for child as student, and the household routine is still strongly governed by younger sibling/s routines and needs.  Homeschooling in this context looks very different than it does with a family where, perhaps, the youngest sibling is the kindergartener, the older siblings already know the routine, and parent is an experienced teaching multi-tasker.  That first year can be extremely frustrating and create a sense of failure for parents that really isn’t realistic or necessary.

Let me start by saying that it is important to remember that all of those picture-perfect magazine articles, social media posts, and “helpful” blogs are not good benchmark standards with which to compare yourself.  Research away, but the whole point of homeschooling is doing what works best for your family and children, not someone else’s (or a fake, theoretical family).

And secondly, take what I said in my articles about 3-hour work periods a little less seriously.  In a Young Children Only scenario, long work periods can be a bit like a square peg in a round hole.

So, what works?  I will offer some suggestions and things for you to think about as you structure your homeschool, but remember that a family is dynamic in nature.  Young children, especially, grow and develop so quickly that you may need to change things up two or three times throughout the school year.

First of all, the household routine is typically governed by the youngest child’s needs.  If you have a 3-month-old, feeding and napping schedules will be your foundation on which to build other daily events.  My advice is don’t fight it, embrace it.  Keep in mind it only lasts a few months!  It is also a great way to teach older siblings the importance of other’s needs. 

Perhaps your youngest is two years old.  They are busy!  They also very much like to be doing whatever older brother or sister is doing.  The last thing you want to do is spend an entire lesson telling your youngest “no, don’t touch!” or having to interrupt a lesson constantly because s/he is trying to participate in something s/he is simply not ready for developmentally.  It can be tempting to allow the child to watch or “fake” participate, but depending on the material and the lesson that can be counter-productive for everyone.  Plan ahead!  If your two-year-old is still napping, take advantage of that time for longer lessons, special materials, or science/art projects.  Perhaps the older child does work on the table while the youngest is working on the floor.  Keep one-on-one lessons short (they should be for kindergarten, anyway!), and be ready to multi-task as your oldest moves to guided practice.

One thing that surprises many adults is the seeming regression that occurs when a child transitions from five to six years old.  (I highly recommend reading Dr. Montessori’s work on Planes of Development…)  This usually manifests into your kindergarten child choosing to play with the younger sibling’s toys for three-year-olds rather than something more challenging.  This is extremely problematic in a Y.C.O. scenario because whatever the younger siblings are doing becomes critically distracting for the oldest child.  When planning something for younger siblings to do, consider a physical set-up where you are able see both/all children, but the oldest child cannot see what the younger ones are doing.  Perhaps providing the younger child with alone toy time (Legos, blocks, trains, dolls, dress-up) can be reciprocated with some alone toy time for the older child when academic work is completed.  This structured turn-taking is often a reward for the older child, whose playtime is different even with the same toys.

And finally, keep lesson times short – maybe two or three different activities spread out throughout the day?  Twenty minutes each?  But wait!  That’s not Montessori!  Yes, it is.  Everything in between those academic lessons is Practical Life, Sensorial, and Motor Skill Development – trust me!

To be honest, I think one of the most important things a first year homeschool family can do is to reach out and find a homeschool community.  Not only does this help support parents, but it begins to set up some important social networks for the children, as well.  You do not need to meet up with people daily, or even weekly.  You might just get together once a month.  That person-to-person contact can be so important in developing your skillset and resource library as a homeschooling parent.  A real homeschool community is a much better point of reference than forums and blogs for you when evaluating your progress and can be invaluable in helping you determine and set goals for you and your children.

During my first year as a homeschool parent I met a family who’s youngest was the same age as my daughter.  They had eight children and had been homeschooling all of them.  I learned so much just from conversations with this parent!  She was truly a valued mentor for me.

So, don’t give up – you’ve got this!  Did you know that every teacher I have ever worked with admits they cried their first year?  (Yes, I did, too.)  Just know that the challenges you are facing this year will not be there forever, and you are not the only person who is facing them!